Friday, October 22, 2010

Excellence !!!

Is it Skill or Attitude which matters to achieve Excellence?
Excellence – Yes, Even I remember the dialogue from 3 idiots, where Chanchad baba says “Strive for Excellence, Success will automatically fall at your feet”. How far is it true for us normal human beings to keep on chasing Excellence without asking for the success as reward?
Let’s tweak now – Is Excellence a Skill or an Attitude?
Recently, I attend a World Conference… Before that I had a feeling of inadequacy, I was not sure what I was going into. For first 2 hours, I was in awe. Till I entered the hall, I was thinking that It was the biggest thing I ever did to enter this Conference, But once I was here, it changed my perception to getting out of this hall will be the biggest thing, I’m ever going to do in my life.
For first 2 hours, I only see the faces who are better than everybody and at everything in this world. And quietly when I sat on my designated chair, I thought its true, which still exacerbate my awe. I felt a bit small for few minutes and thought, should I be here or am I worth to be here? My inner conscience told me ‘Nothing in this world is worth enuf, until u want to make it worth enuf for you’. So I glued my arse to the chair and started hearing to the speeches of the dignitaries on the stage.
Lots of things were going in my mind like an automated slideshow with few pictures n texts.
A perennial debate took birth in my mind between what’s more important – The end or The path?
And I can understand why lots of people including me believe that end is crucial; b'coz end is often a driver of ambition. We always set ourselves at these result goals and we want to reach there at any cost. The end is something we always look upto as it’s a goal or a vision for us. An ambition needs a driver, and most of the times, these ends become drivers.
But, in the course of years, I’ve discovered that people who strive for end goals than passage goals or journey goals… I mean, Journey Vs Destination here. And most of us feel that Its destination which counts not as much as journey. The end at all cost pervade is the source of anxiety. It adds anxiety and turbulence to our system.
For e.g.: In our college days, We always thought of what grade or how much % I need to get to get an admission in top B college. This is End goal. But how much time we spent in thinking, How will we get to that grade? We would set ourclf to reach 95%, 99%. And by setting these goals, It would not be an ambition anymore, it’s already turned into anxiety. And, if u don’t reach 99%, you are choked.
By putting the result or end goal first, It does one more thing. It creates a temptation to do whatever it takes to win and sometimes when we start to walk down that path of whatever it takes to win, we don’t always check whether the path we are following is right one or filled up with danger.
Whenever I meet any of my School/College friends and when I tell them, I’m working as Quality Manager with Wipro, they ask what’s my salary package? Is that to compare with others in our friends circle?
Yes, I need money, But I’ve put it at second. I came here to build a career. And I know no human being in this world who has striving to build a career and at the same time thought, from where and how thick my next cheque will be. If you strive for Excellence in your career, You needn’t care for cheques.
I learnt it a very early stage that ‘ The path to excellence is through efforts and not results’.
Yet, I have seen too many young outrageous talents in the market who chase the result(money in some cases). But for me, Excellence is chasing my professional/performance goals and letting result take care of itself.
Very important thing I believe in is to make The process of achievement success supreme and make result irrelevant. The idea being, if we perfect the process of performance and don’t allow the pressure of your result to choke your performance. For me, this is the wonderful path to journey on Excellence, b’coz very often, We don’t have control on what’s coming our way.
For instance, we are sitting in a competition and I have the bigwigs of all paths competing against me. But I don’t have the control of what he is going to do to compete me. All, I have control over is what I want to do and am going to do. If I keep on thinking what he is going to do, then I’m only preventing myself from performing as well as I can.
I truly believe in it that ‘Do what you can do best, and take what you get’.
I remember my Mom telling me someday – ‘Karmanye vadhikaraste ma phaleshu kadachna’ It means - You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.
Do the best you can…. I don’t think you can do more than that…..
One of the other problems also while putting ends before the means is this six letter world ‘ETHICS’.
The more you see in public life, the more you see in the frontpages of newspapers today, the more you wonder if this beautiful six letter word is banned by the people who have control over our lives.
I think adherence to Ethics allows you to put the end where it deserves to be and concentrate on the path.
We always seek excellence in results, But somehow I’m convinced that Excellence resides in performance, Even more so in the preparation for this performance.
And great people become great, b’coz they excel in their preparation. Especially, what we often see on the battlefield is the end result for all the perfect preparations what have gone before performing.
I say to my peers that, you should always give 100% to everything you do. The attitude what you carry towards every aspect or project should be 100%.
If I’m with something, I make sure I give 100% to it and when I move on, I again think, this was the thing I wanted to give 100%. When done with this, Again I say to the next thing… Actually this was the thing I wanted to give 100% to….  This is how I discovered the little things which make good to great just happen if you give 100% to every moment.
On the funny part, I hear people saying I’m giving 110% or even 150% to it.
And nowadays, even that’s not enuf, people say they are giving 200% for it.
My question to those intellectuals is ‘Is it really possible to give 200%?’ Actually, you can’t do anything beyond 100%.
You have just 24hrs in a day to work. And if you work for whole 24hrs, then its 100%. You can’t work for 48hrs in a day? Can you???
The next thing I want to know is ‘Why are we unhappy with 100%?’. We can’t do more than 100%. Can we?
But, If we give 100% to each and every aspect and that’s what performance goals tell us… You give 100% and take the result as it comes to you.
If you give your 100% all the time and lose, and you know you have done the best you can… You can sleep well and also you can think, how you can work hard and comeback.
Excuses –
Whenever we lose, we always seek excuses. Trust me, Excellence never ever seeks excuses.
People who have excelled never say “I would’ve been good but……” and if somebody does so, then he is trying to assign the blame to someone else. So, you are not that great anymore.
To me, Excellence is the series of 100%.

In life, if you seek Excellence. Always seek it from people greater than you. Sometimes if you reach a level of Excellence and if you are insecure of what u’ve achieved, then you will surround yourself with people who are lesser than you. And the moment you surround yourself with people lesser than you, You stop growing. For a purely selfish reason and for nothing else, Always surround yourself with people who are greater or better than you. B'coz then you learn and you grow.
It might not be the instance that great people around you should be better than you in the same profession. You can’t expect all the gold medalists of university to be surrounded…. But you can watch a craftsman carving an idol and say ‘Wow, the great discipline and excellence he brings in during his work. Can I be like this in my profession the way he is in his…’
And at a certain stage of reaching excellence, people start hating criticism. I mean, what the worst thing will happen is somebody will say that you were wrong. You might be. You never know..
It is always important to keep people around you who will tell whether what you are doing is right or wrong.
I’ve seen people living in this rarified bubble where they think, whatever they are doing is right. B’coz they don’t have anybody around them to say ‘Listen buddy, what you are doing is wrong’ or they hate to be with such people. These people will achieve success, But not sustain it. They will have an abyss fall after sometime.
Arrogance often comes in the path of excellence. It’s one of the biggest stumbling blocks on the way to excellence.
In the world of excellence, if you have ego and anger on your side, then you don’t need any opponent to defeat you. You have already done 90% of the job of ruining yourself anyway.
I don’t have an ego while I’m having a meeting with my peers or reportees. B’coz if I make them look good and as comfortable as possible, then they are relaxed. If they are relaxed, they will listen to me and perform very well on the floor. And if my team performs very well on the floor, then automatically my goal is achieved. But if he is insecure and scared whether I’m gonna scream at him, then I’m not gonna produce a good performer.
So sometimes by subjugating yourself, you achieve excellence. This will not work in Sales and even in Medical Reps profile. And trust me, Medical reps job is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. We make fun of those many a times.
But subjugating self has worked for me.

We always look for talent and say ‘Wow, he is so talented. I wish I could be like that’. And yet you feel that Excellence is not about that talent alone. A major part of excellence is nothing to do with talent. And once you go beyond a level in life, ability or talent is the most useless virtue to possess.
‘It’s what you do with that talent matters’ – Attitude
Beyond a point, Attitude counts far more than what talent does. B’coz talent breeds an ego. And talent never solves the problem beyond a point.
I’ve seen many young guns who are extremely talented. But when they faced a roadblock, they didn’t knew what to do…. B’coz they never had to struggle to succeed. They always use their talent to succeed.
‘In the Scotland army, when they are building an elite core team. They look at your career record, your track record. And if you have never failed, then they don’t pick you. B’coz they say, if this man experiences failure, will he know what to do? Instead, they pick people who failed and bounced back. I’m stressing on word Bounced here. Coz, It’s your attitude which will give you that springboard effect to bounce back.
Coming back to Excellence, is what.. being in top 5% or top 10% in your profession? Is talent needed to be in that top 10%? And if you are there they everybody in that top 10% is equally talented right? So now what’s your USP here??? Answer is again, It’s what you do with that talent counts and brings you to the limelight.           
Whom we recollect when we say talented? Bill Gates, NRN, Tendulkar, Bachchan, Premji and many more… For these guys, what mattered most was their Work Ethics and Attitude far more than talent. I’m not saying they weren’t talented. But how they made use of that talent through their attitude clicked the success button.
When Bill Gates was born, the nurse didn’t handover the baby to his mother Mary Maxwell Gates and told ‘Here is your $54 bn USD owner’. It’s not his talent what has made him the richest person on the planet earth. It’s his work ethic, his attitude and more than that, it’s his passion to reach the zenith.
‘Ability and talent opens the first door, it might open the second door. In some cases, it might open the third door as well. But not the last door for you. Coz the guy who is competing with you is also having equal ability as you and he will not say, oh you are genius and I will step back to give u success.

The second last important thing about Excellence is ‘Learning from mistakes’.
There are people around who are soooo driven and they think that A mistake is a crime and a matter of shame.
Let’s be honest to ourself guys – Deep down inside, when you do a mistake. What is the first thing you tell to yourself? – I hope nobody has looked at me.
I will tell you that mistakes can be your good friend. B’coz ‘The more mistakes you make, the more you know What not to do’.
And ‘Excellence is as much knowing what to do and knowing what not to do’. And if you can be outstanding at knowing what not to do, then the road to what to do opens up before you.. isn’t it?
Need not apply the logic what we IT freaks usually do like – A mistake made you learn… The more mistakes you do, the more you learn and the more you learn, the more successful you become. We promptly extend the limits to infinity as we usually do and conclude – The most successful guy is one who always makes mistakes JJ. In reality, it doesn’t work like that.
I’m yet to meet a situation in life, where you are not allowed to make mistakes. Everybody is allowed to make mistakes. It’s the second or third mistake which you are not allowed to make. It’s the same mistake you make twice, thrice, then u lose respect.
I’ve made millions of mistakes in life.. Some so embarrassing mistakes in life. But I said, I won’t make them again. Everybody I got into that situation, I said to myself ‘Hang on buddy, Last time you were there, you did it wrong.’

Excellence is about desire.
While working in a call center at start of my career, We weren’t reaching our daily sales targets. I said, let’s do it on this call, It’s me Vs. call and gave 100% for it. It was a sure shot and a dollar tagged against my name. It was a positive sale. The desire grew in me and I wanted to make every call a shot sale. I wanted the calls to come to me now b’coz I wanted to show what I can do with my best abilities.
Desire reaches this stage when you know everything about your profession what needs to be known. Desperation to achieve success generates desire in you.

One thing I always wanted to know – Does Excellence requires luck?
When I was 21, I always debated with my father and used to tell him, there is nothing called luck. If I work hard, then I will get that money. So where is the question of luck here???
He had a smile on his face and told me that, it’s the most common thing at your age. But as you grow older n wiser. You will understand the meaning and importance of luck.

Now Since, I’ve spend to close 8yrs after this debate. I go back and analyze all my efforts and rewards to my efforts and say –
According to me, Luck is a rare combination of your preparation and recognition of the opportunity.
Are you willing to slog your backside off when nobody is watching? And when somebody comes to see you, you are actually exhausted.
Why these football strikers so great? I’ve seen in football where midfielders are running up and down in the ground. But why these strikers are so great. B’coz they recognize the opportunity coming their way and prepare themselves for the strike. They are not lucky here… But they have recognized the opportunity even before it comes and they are geared up for it. In 1994 World cup, Ronaldo was not lucky, But he knew what the right position was even before opportunity would come there.
I’ve seen this excellent performance of Robin Williams in this movie Dead Poets Society. Carpe Diem – Seize the moment.
Most people fail at it. They running a marathon for 21kms, But when it’s a pole. They tend to lose down and an excellent sprinter seizes the moment and puts his leg faster and beats the ribbon.
Excellence gives you the opportunity to seize the moment.

To me, Excellence is also about how confident you are about sharing your knowledge.
If you’ve achieved a certain level and you don’t want to share that knowledge of excellence with others. Then it’s the pathetic level of excellence u’ve achieved.
If I go to Tendulkar and ask him to teach his favorite leg glance, He will teach me, coz he is not insecure whether this guy will come and bat better than me.
This gives me that Excellence is not insecure. You are willing to share your crafts with people. When knowledge comes, it doesn’t come in the sealed envelope.
The other thing is that, Most of us never know, how good we are. Some think we are better than we are, especially lot of us.. And some have no idea, how better we can be.
I’ve found people who have achieved excellence are always willing to stretch a little bit. The attitude of ‘Let me try and see what happens If I try that’. I mean, what’s the worst thing will happen – U’ll fail.
Are you scared of failure? If you are not scared of failure, you try it.

Excellence lives in the present.
Some of us hold on too much with the past. Or some are too anxious about the future. And thus we forget we must maximize what we are doing now.
People who are still gloried about their success in the past and still holding to it will not succeed. Many  companies have shut their doors b’coz they always discussed about their glorious days and successful days in the past. Same would’ve hapnd with Microsoft, If they were only holding on to Windows 98.
Excellence doesn’t stay in the past. It is in the present always.
An instance to share – I was attending a week long training with some highly talented maniacs. As the part of the orientation program we were given individual topics to present. We had these two top honchos (managers) who were there and there was a evening party at a bar.
‘You must go to the bar, if you don’t drink. It’s the wonderful place to be on this earth, if don’t drink’. B’coz you hear great stories when you are sober and others are drunk.
And now these both sr. managers are drunk or as they say delightfully high. And one of them asks the other. Why you didn’t make any presentation to these kids today? To which he said, “I’ve been for 25yrs in this profession and I don’t have to prove myself to these kids anymore”. The first person replied. “Everybody know you are great, But they know b’coz others have told them you are great. They ‘vent seen you being great. Wouldn’t that be good, if your follower would learn from your performance than your legend?” – What a great thought… Such things come out only in the bar I believe.

I would like to end this blog with this excellent line from this song called ‘Khudi ko kar buland itna ke har taqder se pehle Khuda bande se ye poche bata teri raza kia hai’ from this Pakistani group called Junoon (of Sayynoi fame). – “Raise your level to such a level, that when God wants to grant the fortune. He asks you what do you want?”.

Adios…………

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Can we beat the Anger and learn to forget & forgive

If you are like most folks, you are probably wondering, why is there so much pain and anger in the world today? Can it be folks are experiencing much of the pain because of a tendency to hear what they want to hear and not necessarily what is being said? Often when a message does not coincide with what they perceive the truth, they become angry. They allow their emotions to rule to the point they become tunnel in their thinking, which render them incapable of hearing any opposing views. The anger is also the results of unresolved pain or unremedied suffering in their lives.

There are many ways to eliminate, control or alleviate anger, but the main way is to engage in rational discourse with everyone you encounter. To do this requires honesty as well as the intelligence to seek commonalities. When there is rational conversation, all involved ferret out the truth no matter where it leads. They do not act or speak precipitously. In the end they must have a process that provides remedy, especially in group situations, in the event the results of their discussions created a need for compromise.  Nothing can be accomplished if anger is allowed to aggravate and if there is no recourse for resolution, the anger will eventually become toxic and affect all encounters and associations.

It is important to learn to listen constructively and to put in place your own mental and visual filters.  Set aside all preconceived notions or bits and pieces of information gleaned over time, especially if you are listening to opposing views. The mind should be cleared of all the self-serving information floating around and should be taught to focus like a laser on the speaker. Learn to evaluate information from all sources. If you do not understand what you hear, ask questions. Do not form conclusions based on what you thought you heard and go away angry and disillusioned. If you make erroneous conclusions, it is likely you will poison the minds of others with misinformation and they, too, may become angry.

It is important that you are honest with yourself as well as with others. Do not create your own truths to satisfy your own selfish ends. Shakespeare said it best, “To thine own self be true.”  This saying is as appropriate today as it was centuries ago. If you are true to yourself you will not play any man false nor will you allow others to play you false. You will face reality head on and will call ugliness what it is when it rears its ugly head, whether created by you or by those you admire. 

Do not become a pawn in the efforts of others when those efforts are satisfying some festering malevolent need inside themselves. Be your own person and take responsibility for your own thought life. Learn to analyze fully what those types are saying and why they are saying what they are saying. If you fail to take these steps, you deny your true self and you allow others to define you and what is important in your life.  When you stop and evaluate why you are angry or why the angry ranting of others appeal to you – you might be surprised at what you have allowed to take root in your own consciousness.

If you are satisfied with your own behavior or you have analyzed the messages of others and you find them rational and in line with your own values, perhaps there may be cause for some irritation and frustration. Always ensure the annoyances you harbor are rooted in truth and in reality and they pose serious threats to your own core values. But rather than allow them to fester into anger, work constructively to fix those annoyances that are bothering you. If you do not, they will worsen and likely you will suffer both more anger and more pain.

Remember, ongoing anger, and the resulting pain, on any level is decidedly unhealthy and serves no  purpose. If left unchecked, it can kill you.

Once you are angry, You forget to forget and forgive....
My few cents or tips to discover this art...
1) Simplify your life. Life is difficult enough, and there is plenty of drama to go around. Why complicate matters by taking offense and choosing into the drama? If you resist holding on to grudges, you can put that energy into far more useful things.
2) Strengthen your health. Be aware of your body, your health, and a balance in all things. Negativity gets stuck inside of you if you don't work through it. Allow yourself to experience the emotions that you feel and release any hate or stress that remains.
3) Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Mom's advice is still the best advice. Often people don't understand how someone can't forgive them, while at the same time feeling justified in their own pettiness. Be quick to forgive others, and you will be more likely to be forgiven.
4) Do it for you. When you forgive someone, you aren't doing it for them. You're doing it for yourself. It is only by forgiving that you will be able to move forward, heal, and be completely fulfilled. The most enlightened people on the planet are also the most forgiving.
5) Be the example. When you wait for the other person to apologize, you may very well wait until hell freezes over. It's not about them. It's about you. Perhaps you will be able to show a better way. Regardless, you will be better off if you drop the extra baggage.
6) Let your guard down. People that hide from others are only hiding from themselves. What are you afraid of? It's time to stop and take a look at what is getting in the way of accepting yourself and being comfortable in your relationships. The path of denial is a lonely one.
7) Let go of the past. People in our present may pay the price for trespasses of people in our past. This is only possible if you have not yet forgiven those that have wronged you in your life. Get over it and get on with today.
8) Have mercy. Look upon people with love and choose to see them in their best light. Remind yourself that everyone has their own story of unseen pain. Give others the benefit of the doubt and offer a hand of friendship instead of a cold shoulder.
9) Be at peace. Peace may seem elusive to you, because you are not allowing yourself to experience this gift. Forgive yourself, forgive others, and be at peace. Contentment is definitely worth what ever effort it takes to get it.
10) Embrace your true self. How does it feel to get the better of someone? Is it uplifting or just pride boosting? When you support someone in improving their situation, you will feel the expansiveness of love. When you put someone down, you feel the constriction of fear.

Pondering Forgiveness:
1) Who do I need to forgive in my life?
2) Is there anyone that I need to seek forgiveness from?
3) Do I forgive as easily as I would like to be forgiven?

Forgiveness Quote: "There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness." -Josh Billings

Forgiveness Challenge: Take a virtual journey of your life through your mind, forgiving everyone that you need to along the way.
This way, You will realize what you have lost for not forgiving somebody. Also, you will learn what you will achieve if you start forgiving somebody from now.

Some will say, Its easy to say, but not to put it on floor....... But why should we always aim at 100% success rate. Lets initate, Lets take a small step before thinking of conquering Everest....

Trust me, It is possible to beat the anger.... When we can beat thirst n hunger... Why not anger???

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Dreams !!! Never Give up on your Dreams, How to keep them alive?

Dreaming big is the easy part. The hard part is working day in and day out to keep your dreams alive. Do you have a dream you've given up on? Are you close to giving up? Well, before you make a decision you could regret down the road, take a few minutes to consider what that means.
We all have hopes and dreams. Some people dream small. Those are the individuals who won't allow themselves to be disappointed. They refuse to fail at anything. But they also refuse to challenge themselves. Because of that, they'll probably never achieve something truly great. Nothing great ever came easy.
The rest of us dream big. We dream in vivid colour and big pictures. The downside to dreaming big, though, is we face huge obstacles every day. Those obstacles threaten to knock us back, steal our momentum, and break our spirit. Sometimes we just want to throw our hands up and walk away; we want to just quit the whole thing. In that exact moment two types of people are made: those who give up, and those who keep clawing, scratching, and scraping until they achieved their dreams.
If you want to be the individual who keeps clawing, scratching, and scraping, here are some thoughts to keep in mind along your journey. Hopefully they will provide some encouragement in those times when your dreams seem out of reach.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. The only way you'll ever achieve your dreams is if you really, truly believe in yourself. That doesn't mean you simply fool the rest of the world, projecting confidence and self-assurance in public. Belief in yourself runs much deeper than that. It means every night when your head hits the pillow, you have a smile on your face. You're content that you did everything possible to follow your dreams from the moment you woke until those last moments before sleep. When you wake again in the morning, you must say to yourself, "Today might be the day I finally achieve my dream." And you must mean it. Unless you really mean it, unless you really believe, you've already defeated yourself. So don't allow yourself any room for doubt. To truly achieve your dreams you have to jump in whole-heartedly. A half-effort will only get you halfway there, if that.
ALWAYS HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. The road to achieving your dreams will certainly be a rocky one. Nothing worth doing is ever simple or easy. But if you keep a positive outlook, you'll overcome adversity. Look at the various roadblocks you encounter as minor setbacks instead of dream-ending catastrophes. If someone tries to knock you down or tell you your dream is too far out of reach, smile and thank them for their thoughts. Then walk away and get back to work chasing your dreams. The more you stay positive, the more accustom you'll become to that positive, uplifted feeling. To put it plainly, you'll be able to get much more accomplished if you feel good. When people get frustrated or depressed, they get hung up on little issues. Those issues can snowball into big issues, and big time wasters. On your way to achieving your dreams, there's no time to waste. Keep your spirits high and you'll avoid the usual pitfalls that trip up negative, defeatist personalities.
TAKE A SMALL STEP EVERY DAY. Every single day, without exception, you should take at least one step toward your goal. Even if the step is small, make it happen. Get in the habit of thinking about your dreams every day. This doesn't mean staring starry-eyed into space and imagining what it would be like to be holding your dream in your hands. It means staying focused and keeping your eye on the prize. The only way to get there is to take a step toward it. The more comfortable you get with thinking about your goals and dreams every day, the easier it will become to fit a daily step into your schedule. Some days, you'll need to devote the entire day to your dream. Don't be afraid to take a day or two off work to focus on your dreams. It's hard to grind through a regular work day and feel motivated when you get home. So set aside a certain amount of time each day, week, month, and year for working on your dreams.
SET MILESTONES AND DON'T LET YOURSELF DOWN. The only way to know if you're heading down the right path to achieving your dreams is to develop milestones. Milestones are key to measuring your progress. You can't get from Point A to Point Zed without filling in the rest of the letters. Sit down and make a list of all the important steps you need to accomplish on the way to achieving your dreams. Consistently revisit that list on your journey. Tick off the steps as you accomplish them. This is a great motivator as well. Once you see how much progress you're making, you'll begin to realise how achievable your dream really is. Everything is easier to accomplish when broken down in to pieces. So break one big dream apart into ten little dreams. Then set out to accomplish each little dream. In no time, you'll be grasping the big dream.
STUDY OTHERS WHO HAVE ACHIEVED SIMILAR GOALS. Find inspiration in others who have achieved similar dreams before you. Their success can spur you on to keep focused and working. If they've written books about their life experiences, read them and see if you can find out the secrets to their success. Most likely they explain in great detail the steps they took on their way to achieving their dream. Can you apply some of their lessons to your own experiences? In most cases, you'll be able to. Plus, seeing and reading about the success of others will surely offer you some inspiration. Knowing others have traveled a similar path and got to the end is always encouraging.
SPREAD THE WORD. Get other people involved in your success. This can mean directly, as in a partnership situation with someone who shares your goal, or simply in a support capacity. Talk about your dreams with supportive friends and family. Keep them updated and curious about your progress. If you know other people are counting on you to keep moving toward your dreams, you can use that as a motivator. This is especially helpful when you have those moments of doubt and want to give up on your dreams. You might think to yourself, "But so-and-so is counting on me. I don't want to let them down." In those moments of self-doubt, you'll have the expectations of others to help get you back on track.
PRACTICE MAKES PROGRESS. Practice may or may not make perfect, but it always makes progress. If you keep practicing at anything you'll get better at it. Perfection is an unrealistic standard. Don't set yourself up for failure by expecting perfection. Instead, expect progress. Each day, work toward honing a skill that will help you achieve your dreams. That may mean taking a course, joining a club, or finding a like-minded group to practice with. Those around you will help inspire the desire to practice and improve. If yours is a solitary pursuit, you'll have to keep the pressure on yourself to stay focused. Self-motivation can be difficult, but it is absolutely essential if you want to keep moving toward your dreams.
KEEP THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE. The journey is fun part. Once you have reached your goal, you'll surely feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment. But the reason it feels so good is because of the journey. The journey was full of struggle and pain and frustration and excitement and exhilaration. When you look back, you'll remember the ride. So as you travel the path toward your dreams, take the time to step outside yourself and look at what you're doing and what you've done. If you're only halfway there, you're halfway further than every person who never started pursuing their dreams. And you're infinitely further than every person who gave up on their dreams. Give yourself credit if you're working hard. The journey is as important as the outcome.
Don't ever let anyone tell you your dreams are too big or too unrealistic. For every person who ever told someone to give up, there's a person who didn't listen and achieved their dreams. Even in the most difficult times, take a deep breath and stay positive. Restate your dreams and refocus your efforts. Each setback should be viewed as a learning experience. If you're smart and learn from a mistake, you'll never have to make that mistake again.
You could work your entire life to achieve a big dream and never get there, but if you worked hard every day you won't look back with any regret. So no matter how bad the deck is stacked against you, no matter how bleak the outlook may get, keep moving forward and never give up on yourself. The only people who look back with regret are the ones who give up.
DOCUMENT YOUR LESSONS LEARNT. There is always hardships and happiness while chasing your dreams. But all that matters is what have you learnt from both of them. Our Human brain is not a terabyte or gigabyte hardisks where we can store anything and everything. It tends to fade out few thing even without our consent. So, Documenting your success or failure really matters when you are trying to chase your dreams again.

DREAM BIG............... LIVE BIG.................
Good Night Folks.... Time to hit the bed and start dreaming BIGGG now..... :)

When you day is really bad

You're having a bad day when you rub your eyes and check the clock. That damn alarm didn't go off again. How many times do you have to tell yourself you're going to buy a new alarm clock before you actually just do it? No time to beat yourself up now, you don't want to be late. You hop in the shower.
You're having a bad day when the shower water vacillates from scalding hot to icy cold on a whim. You twist and turn the knobs, but they don't seem to do a thing. One second your hugging yourself and shivering, the next your arching and squirming to get out from under the shower head.

You're having a bad day when you only have two clean socks, and they don't match. You throw them on anyway.
You're having a bad day when to head to the kitchen to toss a quick lunch together. Nothing sounds good. There's a few slices of cheese left. You'll just use that. You grab the bread, slop some jam on it, plunk the salad on top and your done. Wait, is that a blue spot on the bread? Oh no. It's moldy. But you just bought it a few days ago? How could it be moldy already? And now it's touched the last of your salad. For a moment you consider if that matters... No, that's gross. You'll have to go out to lunch.
You're having a bad day when your keys aren't where they're supposed to be. You always put them on the same hook. How could they not be there? You check the living room. You check the bedroom. You're on your hands and knees looking under the couch. You eye the maid for a moment. Could he be in on this? He slinks away suspiciously. You go back to the hook to see if they've mysteriously materialized. They haven't. You sigh, frustrated, and put your hands in your pockets. There's something cold and metal in there. Keys.
You're having a bad day when you're rushing down MG Road or Express Highway. The stoplight turns yellow. It's one of those perfectly debatable yellows. Should you slam on the breaks and risk a rear end collision? But you're late. You punch the gas. A few moments later, sirens. A constable stops your vehicle, where he allows the vehicle behind you to just passby... and as usual, you deal with him for 200/- bucks.
Well, so much for making it on time.
You're having a bad day when you arrive at the office, crestfallen. You slink to the front door like a dejected Charlie Brown. Could this day have started any more rough? At least the elevator is open and waiting for you. You head up to the eighth floor and find the office dark. Why is no one in yet? Oh no. Is it Sunday? Wow, you really are having a bad day.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Good Old School/College life

Gone are the days when the only “hero” in our life was our dad…
Gone are the days when “hurting’ meant hurting knees and NOT heart!
Gone are the days when saying “See You” meant seeing your classmates tomorrow morning and NOT waiting for the entire life to get their one glimpse”

Don’t know why I am remembering the time spent in my school and college so much these days. The kind of moments I shared with some of my best buddies were truly the most innocent days of my life, in fact in everyone’s life.
May be the tedious office hours, the monotonous behavior and lifestyle and the cold shoulders even amongst so-called best mates is allowing us to remember the innocent times of the past, times which would NEVER come back ever again!
School days- What can be said about them? To add cherry on the cake in my memories, I received a text messages on my mobile last week. It said…
God TO Human: I will grant you ONE wish!
Human: Okay Give back my school days!
God: I said I will grant “WISH” not “HEAVEN”
I guess this message perfectly defines the state of mind presently I am in. The fake world around me, fake people surrounding me who display a certain personality in front and change into a different soul behind my back is something which is NOT accepted at all! But can’t help! This is life! Probably that’s why I am remembering the innocence that the good old days were filled with, an innocence which is completely outshone by today’s earthly minded and mundane world.
School and college life was bliss!!! And yes, writing this statement, I feel that life has truly changed!!! The memories of my school life still sprout on me … Remember those unlimited stoppages at libraries to surf different books and making notes? But now the world is just a click away, thanks to our best friend – Internet! And what about those never-ending evening hours which we used to get after coming back from our school, dropping the bag carelessly on the bed – hours which were spent in calling friends from their homes and playing street games? Careless to even bother whats happening around us. We used to run to meet our friends and play with them.
Now one hardly remembers when was the last time we actually had a long chat with one of our closest friends! Some even don’t want to remember their names!!! Why should I call him, what would he think if I text him? Is it the right time to send a message to him! Questions are endless! Now we are hesitating in talking to that buddy with whom we used to share some of the deepest secrets of our life, whispering things in his ears and giving him swears NOT to disclose it to the other mate!
I still remember the scene from the movie Dil Chahta Hai, where all 3 friends would be sitting on a Fort wall and seeing the ship, where they discuss whether they could come to Goa every year and as always Mr. Perfectionist Amir Khan says "Forget about coming to Goa every year. Think whether we would be able to meet up even once in 10years".  And this has happend true to ourselves in todays life. I have not met most of my school friends after we left the school. Though most of us work in the same industry, Same Electronics City or rather stay in same locality. But I have not met any of them till now. Should I blame it to my busy life or the time passed by?
To overcome this jeopardy of left alone in this world, Geeks from the other planet called Internet introduced Orkut and Facebook, where we can atleast see our friends face and try to recollect, how they looked like in school days. I bow to them and say Million Thanks.....
We always think of having a getogether and cherish our school moments. But to admit, It has not worked out till date.
Now the only time, we think of them is during their B'days or anniversary's... and that too, if they are on Orkut or Facebook and have updated their birth date or marriage date and it pops up as a reminder.  and that too just a comment or a SMS will suffice for the message to be delivered.

This reminds me of another instance!!! See how quickly I am writing! That’s because my mind is running faster than my fingers!!! Writing letters to long distance friends and relatives was like a habit. Now this has been substituted by small text messages saying “Hi How Are You” “Hope Things Are All Well at Your End”! That’s it!
After experiencing so much change, I sometimes wonder where we are heading towards now!!! Perhaps, we are heading towards a super fast-paced life, precisely a life ahead of the Internet!!!

I also agree, that Life changes and we have to move on... But Is there any colleague or a friend in your company or society whom you can trust as much as you used to trust your school friends. The answer is NO.... Even if you have worked with them for more than 20yrs.

There is a different kind of happiness and joy when you bump into a school friend. The hug is full of warmth, the time spent with him/her will be memorable. And most important..... It happens very rarely..... :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

How to conquer challenges in life ???

As life continues to speed up around you and technology provides opportunities for you to do more, many people feel further away from living a balanced life. One of the central concerns of all working professionals is to live a balanced life. Your life, however, is fluid and in constant motion, therefore the challenges you face are continually shifting and evolving. You must find the formula that works for you and avoid the should's, could's, and have to's because they reflect someone else's standards rather than your own.

You must learn to look, not for a solution, but for a process, a way of addressing your challenges and issues that you can use over and over as each issue arises. Just as you weigh the pro's and con's of each course of action at work, you set goals and objectives, you organize your work, you delegate, and, you communicate, you must learn to bring this level of concentration, focus and discipline to your life at home. Interestingly, the same skills that contribute to your success on the job and make you a valued, productive employee, are the skills you also need to manage your home life and to achieve a healthy balance.

Some of the common challenges facing working professionals today include: time for self, relationships and family; being able to organize at home and work; sticking to priorities; professional development and career growth; societal standards; conflicting demands; and sheer exhaustion. You can combat some of these challenges by:

  • keeping a healthy perspective
  • rethinking the 'should's, 'could's, 'have to's, 'ought's and 'if only's in your life
  • acknowledging and accepting your reality and current situation
  • recognizing your limitations
  • having a positive attitude
  • aligning your actions and handling of every day tasks and demands with what's truly most important to you (seek the joy in life and you'll end up feeling balanced and happy)
  • committing to making changes to simplify your life and eliminate habits that no longer serve you.
The stress of balancing work and personal life can make you feel out of control. It can negatively affect your health and self-esteem. Feeling in control increases your ability to cope and feel better about yourself. The end result is that you can be a more productive worker and a more loving partner and a good human being in life.

Making Time for what matters most....

Unexpected emergencies are normally crises that can happen at any time. They arise often seemingly from out of nowhere. Once they are there, you are more or less forced to take time for something or someone that you had not planned.

Quite unconsciously, or perhaps even consciously, you decide that the emergency takes precedence over everything else at the moment, because the person or thing that emerged is more important to you than anything else on your plate at this moment.

Emergencies, such as this, can serve to help you put everything in your life back in perspective rather quickly. When a health emergency arises, either yours or someone else's, you immediately realize the importance of good health, wellness visits, and preventative care. Your perspective may shift to the importance of health, knowing that if you do not have your health, you may not have a productive or long life. Then, health becomes one of your top priorities.

When the emergency pertains to a relationship that is important to you, you recognize that the people you love and connections in your life, make your life worthwhile, so you take time out to take care of and nurture your relationships.
When a Financial emergency arises, you start thinking where you could've saved some bucks for this rainy day. Or, How you could've made better use of the funds you had in your account.
Always make sure, you have time to earn that money lost.. Therz no point in sitting n thinkin why you lost it... coz its not gonna take u anywhere.... Instead start thinking, How you can make up that lost amount..

Making time for what matters most need not be relegated to emergencies. Imagine making time for your health, relationships and everything else that is vitally important to you, before an emergency strikes. Imagine taking excellent care of your physical body, your soul and those you love without being "forced" into it. Imagine sharing time, having real conversations, and being committed to understanding your loved ones or co-workers now - not just when emotions run high and things get a bit hairy or out of control.

Do yourself and your loved ones a huge favor and avoid an emergency by making time out of thin air today for what, and who, matters most to you. I am quite sure you will not regret this decision!

Job Satisfcation or Life Satisfaction???

Anyone who lived through the depression might have a good belly laugh at these statistics because earlier generations did not always have the luxury of being happy in their jobs--they did what they had to do because they had to. Happiness was not part of the equation.

HOWEVER, for the past few decades, job satisfaction has mattered but never more than during the 90's when the economy was good and people had choices as to where to work and how much to get paid. In the 90's you had to keep employees happy to keep them!

NOW, and in the last 2yrs of Bubble burst, we have seen a progressive dip in satisfaction.

People are making more and more concessions to stay employed knowing the economy is not good and the job market is tough. More of their wages are going to pay for their health insurance and other benefits. They are seeing flat or no pay raises. Furthermore, something that the news reports did not account for was how many people are working harder and carrying more responsibility as more and more of their co-workers were being laid off.

At the core, however, as someone who works with people looking for the next horizon in their career, I find that there are other core reasons why work is not working.

In the recent movie, "Up In the Air", George Clooney's character, an HR rep who fires folks, said it so well when he said to someone who was losing his job: "How much did they first pay you to give up on your dream?"


In India, we are known for people having the freedom to pursue their dreams and think big, but often, people give up on their dream. Granted, sometimes it's for very practical reasons but our culture doesn't really support people's dreams in most workplaces. The bottom line rules, not the growth or satisfaction of the employee. We tell our kids and students to 'follow their dreams' and then, when they do, we ask them: "Well, how are you going to make a living at that?"


People also don't take responsibility for their own growth.Work satisfaction doesn't come from what you do but WHO you get to be when you are doing your job. IF you don't like who you get to be at your job, it is your responsibility to find ways to change that EVEN if your actual job dscription does not change.

People start coasting. Their life works well enough and they don't want to 'mess with what's working'. But is it really working? Dissatisfaction can set in so easily when we allow ourself to go unchallenged.

People allow their work drudgery to follow them home. It is possible to improve your life even if you can't improve your work. Instead of letting our work drudgery follow us home, we can invest in our private life and create a happiness that can make work palatable. Invest in creating family memories, indulge in a hobby, 'date' your spouse or partner, take classes, enrich your life!

People can find other opportunities, even in a tough economy. HEY! Then the obvious---gain the courage to look for other work! Invest in your worth as an employee with training or another degree or try your own biz if you can stomach it and bank roll it.

No one promised us we'd be happy at work, but you deserve to be. In other words, it's exactly what to aim for and yet no one is going to hand it to you. CREATE IT!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Long time no see.... To which the answer was - "Been busy yaar"

How many times have you heard the above line in recent times ?
Well I've heard it a lot and I consider "busy" as being one of the biggest problems affecting us in the 21st century.
Slowly but surely this hectic go-getting lifestyle has crept up on society and all of us are victims of it.
Take the average day of a Mumbai working citizen
Hrs in day: 24
Sleep: 7
Work: 10
Commute to work and back: 3
Get ready for work/breakfast: 30mins
Get ready for bed/dinner: 30 mins
Balance time: 4 hrs
There you go. 4 hrs is all I have time for .........for myself, my family, my friends. And if you work in investment banking or audit or any other slogging jobs or any of those 15 hr jobs then please make it 4 hrs of free time a week !
Sure, all of us have ambitions and want to move ahead, and all companies want to get bigger and stronger, all kids want to be smarter and cooler. And in this quest we are losing our balance. No wonder we see more heart disease and divorces and social crimes and the like.
It's not just us working folk who seem to be pretty busy. You ask any kid "hey long time no see ?" and you'll get the same reply "Busy....with dance class and tuition and computer class and guitar class and what not"
When is the last time you managed to fix a dinner plan with a bunch of 6 friends who are working too.....in the "1st" attempt ?
I'd love to hear about it..................... :)